Before this year, I was constantly filled with dread, worry and stress. I often found myself angry at the positions in which I regularly found myself and pessimistically saw that there was never any way out of it. Depression and despair were regular guests in my psyche. That changed on January 26, 2019.
I fought through the remainder of that year rediscovering myself and coming to an understanding of who I was, and what I needed to make myself happy.
On November 12, 2019, I picked up the keys for my new apartment. I spent my first night in the apartment the following night and thus began my journey to find myself through travel and exploration.
I started small, going a couple of places I had already been, like the museum and Old Town, but had only seen them through the eyes of an attached person, that was always with someone that guided my vision. I began to see things independently, as me, seeing the things as I enjoyed them.
Then I started seeing things nearby that I hadn’t seen, like the Coronado Historic Site in Bernalillo. That was a site I had wanted to see before but never went because of who I was with at any given time. Then I started branching out, making my first trip south of Alan’s house to Belen.
Shortly after my first few trips, I met Brandy, then the world fell apart. We were quarantined together almost from the beginning, but that hasn’t stopped us from traveling when and where we’re able. We’ve taken day trips to Jemez, Sandia Peak, and Taos, and we’ve taken week-long trips to Colorado and the Midwest, and weekend trips in between. All told, I’ve seen things I’ve seen a million times before, and things I’d never seen before.
I am filled with wonder as I see gigantic gorges carved by the likes of the miniscule Rio Grande. I marvel at the technological feat of building a bridge across that gorge. A bridge strong enough to withstand tons and tons of automotive traffic crossing over it.
My breath is taken away when I see the might of a towering mountain above me, and am filled with wonder as I see it capped in snow, filled with firey autumn colors, or vibrant greens in spring.
I find myself at peace when I look at my home town from thousands of feet above it, and watch the sun quietly set on the western horizon.
I’m filled with child-like glee when strolling through the zoo, seeing chimpanzees, tigers, hippos and giraffes.
All of these emotions are new to me as prior to this journey. The dread, anger and depression are gone so now I can focus on the here and now and be happy with where I am.
I am very grateful for the position I’m in, and the opportunities I’ve been given. I’m grateful for the people around me. And I’m extremely grateful for this planet that I’m now able to wander and appreciate.
While there was a wide variety of good things that happened, 2020 was, for all intents and purposes, a nightmare of a year, and now, 6 days into 2021, it doesn’t look like things are getting much better (see: Capitol Hill, January 6, 2021) but I’m very hopeful that we’ll be able to return to some form of normalcy sooner rather than later.
In the meantime, we spent New Years in Gunnison, CO (stay tuned for a trip report on that) and I’m planning a Valentine’s Day getaway with Brandy that includes something I’ve wanted to do for a long time.
For the couple of people that I know check in on this site, I appreciate you both (and your spouses) and I look forward to more time with you once the ‘rona is over.
Here’s to a happy 2021 to us all!
-Phil