October 25, 2024
Even after working at a haunted house for a few years, I still get excited whenever I get to visit one.
I had the chance to visit the local haunt in Ottumwa at the end of October with my other wife, Hilary.
For anyone uninitiated, Hilary is one of Brandy’s best friends and by marrying Brandy, I got “married” to Hilary too, meaning I needed to be available to help Hilary with things that her then husband was unable or unwilling to do, such as assembling a new lawnmower or hanging curtain rods, or whatever.
Hilary is by and large a very self sufficient woman and can really take care of herself, but in those time when there’s something she just can’t manage, I’m there to help.
She has since gotten divorced and is now seeing a new man, Jason.
One of Hilary’s sons, Ryne, is seeing a woman named Mariah.
Well, on the night of October 25, while Brandy was in Florida for work, Hilary, Jason, Mariah and I headed out to Ottumwa’s Mayhem Haunted House, which is put on by the local 4H group.
As I mentioned in my lead-in, I worked at a haunted house for a few years in Albuquerque so know all the tricks of the trade but I still love going to new ones so I can check out set design, characters, scare tactics and what-not. I never get scared at these things, and truth be told, I feel bad for walking through them and not reacting the way the actors hope (believe me, I’ve been in that situation before) but when I’m able to go through with scaredy cats, it makes it better.
Our Night Out
We got to the haunt right around 8:00 and immediately put our names on the waitlist. We were told it would be about an hour and a half wait until we were let in.
We spent the next 90 minutes or so in the barn next to what I’m told is a disused mental facility. They had a food truck selling smash burgers and taco burgers and such, and there was a beer cart in the building too.
I got some food and a beer and we sat at a picnic table and socialized, watching the throngs of high school aged kids running around, almost all of them wearing checkered pajama pants.
After a little over an hour, Mariah got the text that our time had arrived so we made out way out of the barn and toward the building that used to be “the home”, as the locals call it. We were greeted by someone that Hilary knew (not difficult, considering this is Ottumwa we’re talking about.) they exchanged pleasantries then we were guided to the entrance, up a flight of stairs to a small table where our payment was collected, then we queued up again and waited for our time to enter.
We were immediately behind a group of three overly obnoxious high schoolers that were very mocking to the gentleman that was providing the backstory to the haunt and letting the groups in. As we were let in, I was placed in the front of the line directly behind the three buttheads. I slowed our group down to let them get far enough ahead that they wouldn’t cause any problems to our enjoyment.
We meandered through the halls with typical scares throughout. The storyline we were given is that in the 1950s, aliens landed near the hospital, the hospital staff all left abruptly leaving the patients to run the hospital and the aliens had invaded.
There was very little in the way of alien-themed scares, and the carnival themed area didn’t fit very well into the story, but anything to cram a scary clown or two into the haunt, eh?
About two thirds of the way through, I stopped and made the rest of our group go ahead of me. Watching others get scared is more enjoyable for me.
We approached the end and were predictably chased out by a chainsaw-wielding maniac. We crossed the dirt parking lot back to the van and made our way back home.
It was an enjoyable time. The haunt was pretty well done for a 4H group- it even included a vortex tunnel, which isn’t easy to pull off.
I did not take any pictures so there’s nothing in my Photo Diary, but if you stay tuned, you will see a huge photo dump from our post-Halloween trip to New Orleans.
Stay tuned!
-Phil